Guerilla Film Unit Self Taught Film Boot Camp Volume 3
Republished with permission from the author
sorry guys, gals. I have been left alone at the start of the summer. No Max Narco, no Dr. Dan-O-Meen-O. No committee. No stories. No Excuses. Its time to start the third summer of boot camp, and "eir Director" is the minister of information. You all better send some requests to get off this list before it becomes the summer of the schpeal.
This summer I feel like testing the limits. Find out if this Boot Camp is gonna last, or doing any good. We can't spend every summer crapping for shit's sake. We got to get better.
I saw a movie called Troy last week, speaking of crap. I got to say one thing for Wolfgang Peterson and that set, their shit almost does smell like roses. We can't compete. Not on budgets, not on equipment, not on hype, promotion, light trucks, lenses, know-how, camera crews, cranes, craft services, animal handlers, computer effects, Man-Ass, star power, or even just all out total bullshit. They got us beat. Don't loose heart, though, we got one thing, they don't got. A life. And with that life, we got a story. Wolfgang's gang is trying to tell us our stories. We've got to remember and remind them, that nobody can tell a folk tale better than the folk Why do we have a life? Cause we can walk without crawling, stand without being put down. We are self taught and self reliant. We don't have to cast away our tales to climb their fucking ladders.
Alright, that's bullshit. We are lowly dogs. Our soul was long ago stolen by Lucas and Looney Tunes TV. We are only going to add to the overcrowded realm of regurgitated drivel. We need to put our lens cap back on....If that's true. Is it true? Let's put it to the test.
Later in the week I saw, and participated in a film festival in Richmond. It brought to mind many of these thoughts about the Boot Camp. Is it dire necessity, or utter futility that I feel? The films shown, mine included, with the exception of one or two, seemed crafted by headless marauding small time self described filmmakers into bad sounded and abusively melodramatic should-have-been-an-outtake-reel secretious crud. But that doesn't upset me. I love to see people make movies. What upsets me is that us "filmmakers" don't realize that our little self therapy videos are scaring off what remains of an already waning fad. They would better serve the film community on the cutting room floor. But what really really gets my goat, is that we have to clap and be clapped for, as if our peers are telling us that we've done good, ride that plateau. That's bad. The last thing any of us needs to think right now is that we don't need to get a hell of lot better. I don't care how good you think you are, if you can't get any better you need to start taking your film stock back and investing in Regal Cinema gift passes. That's where the smart money's going. People go to enough of these overpriced artsy festivals and they just ain't gonna bother to listen anymore by the time somebody has something to say. If there is an art movement going on right now in film, it'll be known as "the boys and girls who cried 'independent'". Speaking of art, filmmaking, I'd wager, is the hardest modern western art form. So don't feel bad for making shit. And don't ever let my words interfere with your self worth, except to beef it up. I love movies. I love movie makers. Let's give ourselves and our films the time and respect it takes to get them right. In later years this school of art may be looked to as the record for our folk, one of few that's true, as fictional as it may be.
I could go on all night. What I really bothered to write you all about, is the thrid summer of the Guerrilla Film Unit Self Taught Film Boot Camp. And we don't have all night for propaganda, cause the first showing is in less than two weeks and there isn't an assignment or any movies made. Some of you may be new to all this, so let me start with some of the basics. Boot Camp is not a film school. It is not day care. It is not beginner or expert. It is not a market for ANYTHING. We will not pamper, or try to please. We are not here to offend, though offense may be taken. We also make no garruntees, if you are in the audience please hear this disclaimer: This is a filmmakers forum that is open to the in-apathetic public, in later times we may build screenings that are meant as shows, to which tickets and popcorn can be consumed, but these are not such times. There is no one in the GFU who has seen these films and preapproved them for exhibition. (you can eat popcorn if you bring enough for everyone)
The Boot Camp meets at SUNDOWN (whatever time that is) on every other friday night beginning with the first friday of each summer month. We meet on the roof of the Iron Cave in the parking lot of Club 216, directly behind Spencer's music store and Eloise. There is no parking provided. The only fee for participating is that you must posess a minimal resistance to apathy, and will not accept some idiot with a camera to escape without criticism if he screws up. You do not have to adhere to, listen to, or respect criticism. You do not have to make movies every other week, although I garruntee you will improve if you do so. The order of play is arranged by names in a hat.
For the first assignment, make anything under five minutes or we'll really hate it.
I been thinking about the schedule and maybe changing it. I don't think I'm going to be able to make it every other week with film, and last summer I got the feeling some weeks that if I didn't, there might not be a film to show. So unless I get some resounding replies of "I will! I will!", I think we should cut it back to once a month. Makes me sad, though.
And guys, gals, please don't take the smut path, don't try to prove some horseshit this is art crap on my roof. Art is craft. I'm just gonna come out and say it: I don't want no pornography on my roof top. Don't test me.
And if anybody has criticism for me, I always welcome it. send me an email
And if anybody has audio/visual equipment to volunteer, I don't always welcome it, but this summer
I probably would. Send me an email.
Looking forward to the mystery of June 4th
-johnny
=====
-Johnny St.Ours
The Boss:
Piraeus LLC
Iron Cave Artisans
and The Guerrilla Film Unit
ironcaveartisans@yahoo.com